FETISHIST SQUIRREL HUNTED DOWN IN PITTSBURG AFTER STEALING HUNDREDS OF LACE PANTIES FROM CLOTHESLINES

A kleptomaniac squirrel with a thing for women’s underwear was finally caught this morning after allegedly stealing more than 300 pairs of panties over the last six months.

The unusual thief was reported dozens of times over the last months throughout the Garfield and Squirrel Hill South neighborhoods, stealing women’s underwear drying on clotheslines and running away with them.

After dozens of complaints and several unsuccessful attempts at capturing the thief, the AAAC Wildlife Removal & Control had even put a bounty of $5,000 for the squirrel’s capture.

He was finally trapped this morning by private pest control agents, who also found dozens of pairs of underwear under a nearby garden shed.

Barry Smith, the exterminator who caught the rodent, says he used both food and lace lingerie to bait the rodent in his traps, joking about the animal’s taste in underwear.

“Many victims had noted that it had a preference for lace over other panties, so I placed some lace g-strings with the nuts in my cages. The little bastard snobbed the cheap ones but couldn’t resist my limited-edition Victoria’s Secrets panties!”

Mr. Smith says it’s the first time in his 11 years in the profession that he sees such a fetishism in a wild animal.

“The surveillance cameras I’d installed showed it being very picky in its thefts, stealing only lace thongs and g-strings and stashing them. I’ve no idea what he planned to do with them.”

34-year old Barry Smith, the exterminator who caught the little thief, says it’s one of the strangest catch he has done in his career.

The captured rodent, hours of video evidence, and 38 pairs of stolen panties were transmitted to the AAAC as evidence to claim the $5000 bounty.

The underwear should be returned to their owners over the next few days while the animal should be released in the wild, far from urban areas.