MAN FAKED BEING DEAF AND DUMB FOR 2 YEARS TO AVOID LISTENING TO HIS WIFE

A man from Waterbury in Connecticut faces divorce after his wife found out that he was not actually deaf and had been faking it for more than 62 years to avoid having to listen to her.

According to the divorce papers, 84-year old Barry Dawson never spoke a single word in front of his 80-year old wife Dorothy during the decades they lived together.

Ms. Dawson learned the sign language to be able to communicate with her husband but says he was still not really communicative.

“It took me two years to learn to communicate with my hands. As soon as I got good at it, he began having problems with his sight. Now that I think of it, he probably faked that too!”

The couple still raised six children and has thirteen grandchildren, all of whom were also convinced that Mr. Dawson was deaf.

“When he was at home, that jerk always faked being deaf. It wasn’t until I saw a Youtube video of him singing during a karaoke night in a bar while he was supposed to be at a meeting for a charity, that I understood everything.”

Mr. Dawson’s lawyer, Robert Sanchez, claims the elderly man’s stratagem was not meant to offend or cheat his spouse, and that it may, in fact, explain why their marriage worked for 62 years.

“My client is pretty quiet and not very talkative, but his wife is annoyingly chatty. If he hadn’t faked being deaf, they would have divorced 60 years ago. In a way, he did for her and for his family.”

Both parties should appear in court for the first time tomorrow, as Dorothy Dawson is demanding financial compensation for her “emotional stress and burden”, as well as half of their belongings and alimony.