PROSTITUTE AVOIDS JAIL TIME AFTER BEING DIAGNOSED AS ‘SPERMAHOLIC’

A 67-year-old woman from Houston was released Tuesday after admitting to engaging in prostitution, but has ultimately avoided jail time after being diagnosed as a “spermaholic”.

The district attorney’s office had sought a 48-hour jail term, which Assistant District Attorney Jeff Baroody said was comparable to other prostitution sentences imposed in the county.

The defense argued successfully, however, that her client had no prior criminal record and produced the testimony of Dr. Helmut Findreich attesting to her atypical medical condition.

“This individual is victim to a rare eating disorder which gives her an uncontrollable craving for male semen,” Dr. Findreich explained to the judge. 

 Attorney Amanda Sideris said her client showed “pronounced inclinations” toward nymphomania and had endured a dramatic increase of her sexual urges and sexual activity since she had reached menopause

“These abnormal eating habits have negatively affected my patient’s physical and mental health and thus should not be held fully responsible for her actions,” her attorney declared in court.

Attorney Sideris admits that without therapy, her client would be at high risk of repeating the offense, but that jail time would do her client no good.

“My client has already been punished through public shaming in the newspapers earlier this year, when she was caught performing sexual acts with her dog last April in public, of which she has since lost custody,” she told the court.

The sheriff’s office first contacted the 67-year-old woman by email using a fake name and set up a meeting with her.

She was arrested last week at the Cactus Traveler Motel near downtown Houston after she offered to perform oral sex on three undercover deputies in exchange for $5 and a pack of cigarettes.