FISHERMAN LOST AT SEA FOR 14 DAYS CLAIMS HE WAS SEXUALLY ASSAULTED BY MERMAIDS

A fisherman lost at sea for 14 days off the coast of Florida has been rescued by the United States Coast Guard this week.

Alvin McCallister, 72, was found on a small rocky islet 200 miles off the nearest coastline where he shipwrecked two weeks ago and managed to survive off of several seagulls, mussels, and urchins.

McCallister, for whom doctors do not fear for his life, was found suffering from intense hallucinations possibly caused by dehydration and the toxins of unidentified mussels he consumed on the small islet.

“The patient shows symptoms of extreme dehydration and is still under medical attention at the moment as he is still suffering from mild hallucinations,” a St-John Baptist Hospital spokesman told reporters.

McCallister who is presently suffering from mild hallucinations, told his brother, Timothy McCallister, that he survived with the help of mermaids who fed him but also allegedly took advantage of him sexually.

“He described in graphic detail how he was forced to perform oral sex on the fish-like genitals of these aquatic creatures, not only onto the women but also onto the men,” McCallister’s brother added in tears, visibly grateful to find his brother alive.

McCallister, who is believed to have ingurgitated some form of toxin such as lead or mercury found in dangerous quantities in certain varieties of mussels he possibly consumed, is still under psychiatric evaluation.

“Although Mr. McCallister does present abnormal injuries and inflammation to the genital and anal area, it is highly unlikely that he was sexually exploited or sodomized by living sea creatures and these are possibly self-inflicted” explained one medical expert.

Although McCallister’s mental state is presently unstable, doctors believe he should heal completely in the weeks to come after his body has expurgated the dangerous levels of toxins he has been exposed to.