UNITED AIRLINES PILOT AND COPILOT FIRED FOR HAVING LOUD SEX TOGETHER DURING FLIGHT

United Airlines announced this morning that it had fired two of its employees after they allegedly engaged in sexual intercourse in midflight while the plane’s internal communication system was on.

49-year old Jordan McPhee and 38-year old Bayani Ceniza were operating a Boeing 747 carrying 412 passengers from Manilla to Los Angeles when the speakers in the plane’s passenger area started emitting strange noises.

71-year old Betty Garrison who was aboard with her husband, says that both flight attendants and passengers were shocked when the unidentifiable sounds turned into “a gay porn soundtrack”.

“At first, we heard strange sounds and thought someone had entered the cockpit and was wrestling the pilots. But then it became clearer and we heard stuff like “fuck me harder Daddy” and other disgusting things.”

According to Ms. Garrison, flight attendants rapidly ran to the cockpit to warn the pilots, but the two ignored them and continued for several minutes before finally answering the door.

“We could clearly hear the poor girls yelling and banging the door and the two men complaining about it while they continued having sex.”

Over 30 passengers filed complaints with United Airlines upon their arrival in Los Angeles and the company decided to act swiftly.

In a brief press conference held in Chicago this morning, the airline has announced that it had launched an investigation on the event and that both Mr. Mcphee and Mr. Ceniza had been fired.

United Airlines executive vice-president James Garreth claims the company will investigate the incident thoroughly and do everything it can to prevent such a thing from happening again.

Over 300 incidents of sexual nature involving airplane pilots are reported every year in North America according to the FAA.

A vast majority of these cases involve pilots engaging in sexual intercourse with flight attendants or passengers, and cases involving both pilot and co-pilot are extremely rare.

In 2013, four employees of American Airlines had been fired after engaging in group sex with 17 passengers.